A Parent's Nightmare

It's been awhile since I last posted anything on the blog. It's been a busy month with Christmas, New Year's and all. Lots have happened and I will post pictures as a recap of Noelle's past month.

Derek, Noelle and I went to Italy to visit Derek's brother Drake and wife Gini who lives in Teramo, northeast of Rome. We were excited to go, not to mention to get away from the cold that we have had here in Sweden.

Though our trip in Italy had many fun events, Derek and I experienced our first, and I hope last, nightmare as parents, though I am sure there will be more events, let's just hope they don't match this one.

We were over at Drake's neighbors apartment for an aperitif while we were waiting for Drake to get home from basketball practice. Noelle was playing with the neighbors little girl, who is one month younger than Noelle, the two little girls having a ball! There was a wine glass placed on the floor, which is absolutely no place for a glass especially when you have two one year olds running around. Well, Noelle fell on the glass and sliced her wrist open. Derek, rushed over and grabbed her, put pressure on her wrist, which was heavily bleeding, and held her arm high. The neighbor rushed out to get help, and I can't remember what I was doing. I know I picked the other girl up as she was heading toward the stairs. Another of Drake's teammate had already gotten home from practice and drove us to the ER. I wondered why we didn't call the ambulance, but was told it was quicker to go there on our own.

I can't explain the feelings I had, it wasn't really happening I remember thinking. Once at the hospital, the personnel took us to an operating room, where they started working on Noelle. The first 5-10 minutes they looked at her without anesthetics, and I can't imagine the pain she must have felt. They found that the major vein and the nerves were intact, missed by a couple of mm. The tendon, however, was cut. They finally got my little girl anesthetic, so at least she wouldn't feel the pain. She cried the whole time, and I just tried to comfort her, which was hard as I needed comfort myself. There were about 6 doctors in there, and some nurses, all speaking Italian, and not a word of English.

They sewed together the tendon, and the skin, and put a cast on her arm. The whole thing took about 2.5 hours. It was the worst 3 hrs of my life. They told us it should heal in about 15-20 days. I wanted to go home to Sweden to get care from a familiar place, but we ended up staying the last four days. We went back two days later to the doctor for a check up and cleaning, and it looked ok. Still I was anxious to come home and see a doctor.

Yesterday, we went to a specialist hand surgeon at Sahlgrenska hospital in Göteborg. Two doctors looked and tested her hand and came to the conclusion that it's heeling well. The chances for a nerve damage is slim, and if there is one, they can either fix it with surgery or since she's so little it may work itself out on its own.

I cannot stop thinking about this accident, and I can't stop blaming myself for not removing the glass in time. And though I shouldn't, I still feel annoyed with the person leaving the glass there in the first place, knowing that two babies are running around. She feels bad herself and things will not change by me having hard feelings toward anyone. I cannot get the picture out of my head watching my little girl on the operation table. Awake. Crying. Scared. In Sweden, and I think in the US, they would put the baby to sleep while they do this procedure. That is what the doctors we saw here told us. I hope that she won't have nightmares about this in the future.

I try so hard to protect her from things, and then this happens. How?

Derek did wonderful during the accident, he was so calm, and took control over the situation right away. He was as white as a sheet in his face, and not feeling well, but he remained calm. I don't know what I would have done without him.

As far as Noelle, she is happy, energetic, and playful like she was before. This accident hasn't seemed to slow her down one bit. She now has a plastic ortos on her wrist, so that she can use her fingers. However, her wrist remains stable. She'll have it on for two more weeks, until we go back to the specialist. She started her schooling in period at preschool, as I have now started working. Derek is doing the schooling in, he starts school himself next week. She likes being around other babies, so I am sure she will have fun. The have different activities for the kids, such as baby rhythmic, song, dance and outdoor events. Basically, she'll play the whole day!

Next time, I post, I will add some pictures and videos... Hopefully it won't be too long, but I am working full time, plus taking a class at night after Noelle goes to bed (distance course), so my time is very limited!

For all of you who have babies in your surroundings, make sure glass or any sharp objects are far away from a child's reach. I don't want anyone to experience what Derek and I experienced.

Talk soon!